Thanksgiving is around the corner, with pies and cooked birds and weird, jelly-like cranberry sauce. Time to be thankful about things before Black Friday hits and we start being greedy for things and deals and Christmas presents and vacuum cleaners.

Books are one of the things I’m thankful for, especially for all the “important” things they taught me…

Les Miserables by Victor Hugo

Thank you for teaching me not to write about the sewers of Paris or French slang or go on and on about Waterloo because everyone will simply skip over those parts.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte

Thank you for reminding me to notice red flags and if you think a guy is weird, you’re probably right and he might even have his crazy wife locked up in the attic.

The Escape Artist by Brad Metzler

They you for teaching me an important writing lesson: if you give a hint there might be magicians in the book, there better BE MAGICIANS IN THE BOOK. (there were not *tear tear*)

The Hot Zone by Richard Preston

Don’t go playing with bat guano and please wash your hands WHERE’S THE BLEACH??!

The House of Usher by Edgar Allen Poe

Thank you for teaching me to make sure someone is dead before I bury them.

The Mystery of Edwin Drood by Charles Dickens

Thank you for teaching me to begin writing a novel but die before it’s finished so everyone can wonder for the rest of time what the end was going to be.

END

If anyone I know is wondering why  nothing by Tolkien is on this list, it’s because I have a special post planned.

4 thoughts on “Thank You to Books and All the “Important” Things They Taught Me

  1. This is hilarious. Also, I’m such a wimp, I remember reading House of Usher at age fourteen and then I couldn’t sleep afterwards. Same with Masque of the Red Death, read at about the same age. But what’s funny is I’m not sure the modern horror I’ve read gets the same reaction from me at all? (Not that I’ve read very much.)

    Liked by 1 person

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