I did something similar to this called Writerly Rants, but it was so far back in the archives that I’m not going to bring it up. No, we do not go down that rabbit hole.
HOWEVER. I do have some things to say. Things that make me go as mad as a March Hare in March when I read them in books.
Here are the things that make me crazy.
When characters turn on their heel.
Besides people who are marching in a parade of some sort, have you ever actually seen a person turn on their heel?? NO. BECAUSE NO ONE DOES.
It’s a very military thing.
Using animals sounds to describe dialogue or other noises.
People do not yelp, howl, snarl, hiss, bark, or growl. Those are animal sounds.
When “shouting” is put in all caps.
Like: “I HATE YOU!” She shouted.
Yes, you said she shouted so I know she shouted. Don’t be annoying.
Sound effects.
THIS IS NOT A MOVIE. We read words to know the sound. Example:
The round shot through his head. Pffffft. The blood sprayed out.
No, Pffft just sounds like you spitting.
When a Character’s eyes bulge out of their head.
Maybe it’s just my own experience, but I haven’t as yet seen someone’s eyes do that. Not in the way that the word “bulge” makes my imagine. Like those squishy toys where the eyes pop out when you squeeze them. Nope, haven’t seen it.
Photo by Alex Block on Unsplash
Bernadette Benda 
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