Remember that rant I posted a several weeks ago? Well…there’s more to it.

(Some of these are not particular to written fiction. Some of these things are in movies that drive me banana balls).

*enter rant*

1: Stuttering

Yes, people stutter when they talk. So yes, you should put stuttering into your dialogue. Just….do it right.

For example. He says, “That wasn’t there before.” But he’s scared, so he’s stuttering, thus the author writes:

“T-That was there before.”

“T”???? Really??? When people stutter it sounds like this “Th-that.” because the beginning of “that” sounds like “th” not “t”

*contains frustrated screaming*

2: Lack of Communication.

Using the lack of communication as a plot device….is just the worst.

I’m talking about communication in relationships. For example: Joe is in love with Sue. Sue hears a rumor (or false fact) about Joe from someone else. It’s something that makes Sue very angry. Sue then proceeds to be very cold and mean to Joe, and perhaps even break up with him. And Joe is chasing after her, bewildered because he has no idea why she is acting this way. Thus the drama of the story story is born.

But….couldn’t Sue just talk to Joe about it?

Unless your story is suppose to be “How Not to Handle a Relationship” that is the laziest plot device EVER.
(Also frequently used in old Hollywood musicals).

3: “I’m scared of my super cool power for no reason.”

Got one word for you people. Frozen. Because not everyone’s greatest fear is accidentally murdering their family with their awesome super power.

4: Passive Voice.

Also known as “The Best and Most Efficient Way to Make Bernadette Quit and Throw Your Book Across the Room”.

If you can write “he walked” instead “he was walking” I’d be much obliged.

AND (on another note) *drum roll*

I FINISHED THE RED DREAM. GAH.

Yesterday I wrote “The End” on the last book of the Green Crow trilogy. On deadline before June 1st. Phew.
Now, time to put the massive beast in a drawer. Then…..draft 2???

IMG_1748
More pictures next week. Because this does not do it justice.

Peace out,

Bernadette

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