Today we had an “outing”, which means we went shopping, including to Giant Evil to get some pork (in which case Mum exclaimed the above quote, because we just watched Cranford and the Return to Cranford. And we both loved it. We think Dad did too.) Also we went to the thrift store and Mom found a really cool lamp from the 1950’s and when I was walking back to the car with it I was a bit afraid I was going to drop it.

Looking at the pork.

Me, “What is that?”
Mom, “Pork.”
Of course I knew what it was, but it sort of disgusted me because it was in a long blob, tightly wrapped in plastic. So Mom chose to buy it, being very cheap, but I was dismayed to hear that you could once by pork for 25 cents. We also bought some sausage and apples (somehow this is feeling like a very German meal). However, I refused to carry what I called “the Blob”. So Mom carried it.

Mom, “We need paper towels!”
Me, “Ok.”
Mom. “We should have gotten a cart.”
Me, “Yeah, I’m not carrying the Blob though.”
Mom, “That’s ok, I’ll just carry this like a baby.”
After taking a second look at how she was carrying it….
Me, “Or like a gun.”
Mom, “Don’t say that! People are crazy!!”
So then we got paper towels. I gave Mom the sausage to hold. So now she was holding the sausage with the Blob on top of it in both hands sort of presented before her.
Mom, “It’s my offering to the king!”
Me, “Um…..”
Then Mom needed zip lock bags.
Me, “Mom, Mom, I have no hands! We can’t get anything else!”
Mom, standing in front of the bags holding out the meat, “That’s ok, you can just put it on my offering!”
I burst out laughing. Thankfully I dropped nothing, and Mom managed to keep hold of the Blob while I took the box of bags.
We arrived home (still trying to talk like we were from Cranford), and began unloading the car (including the stuff from the craft  store). I went outside to get the last load, and opened the car door.
Me, “You mean I have to get the Blob?!!!”
Mom, “What?!”
Me, “You left the Blob!”
Mom, “O, I forgot!”

So now Mom has just finished polishing the lamp, which including getting out dead ladybugs.
Mom, “Ladybugs must not decompose quickly.”
Me, “Why do you think they’re from the 1950’s?”

~Alp out.

3 thoughts on ““You Should Put an Orange in its Mouth!” ~Cranford

  1. he he he! I know the exact blob you are talking about! I loved this blog! It makes me more homesick than ever! Can I come home now? And talk in weird accents and be funny with you guys??


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